Submitted by: David K.
Guide to Working at Space Applebee's:
Written by Jack Spooks
This is a guide to teach you how to work at Applebee's Neighborhood Grill + Bar,
trademark of Applebee's International Inc. within the confines of Andromeda
Locating Applebee's Neighborhood Bar + Grill on the Andromeda Station
It's to the left of repair room.
First and foremost, Applebee's hires selectively based solely on species, so unfortunately
if you are not an alien you may not work at your local Andromedan Space Applebee's.
Additionally, the Infestor of specie Plagus Mortalis is banned from working at Space
Applebee's. Although Space Applebee's originally was all inclusive in regards to species
hiring, we have found the stereotype of Infestors slipping date ??? drugs into beverages
to be a very accurate one indeed.
So you're a young and dapper Infestor, Spider, or Leech who has passed the rigorous hiring
process, congrats! Now is the time to learn what you actually have to do as an employee of
Space Applebee's. Your primary duty and mission is to serve the customer! This primarily
means serving beverages, entertainment, deploying pink smoke screens, and an occasional
tentatickle. All this and more will be discussed in the next section of your worker's guide.
So you've clocked in for a shift, shedding your egg sac and revealing your gorgeous pink
skin, long luscious tentacles, or dripping silky mandibles. Now is the time to provide the
utmost service experience to our crew customers, first up is beverages: Beverages should be
handled by Infestors and Spiders entirely by Spiders, as you can provide delicious, fresh
silk slurp, a refreshingly scrumptious beverage which slides smoothly down the throats of
desiring crew members. Next is entertainment, and comfort: Infestors can provide the wonderful
entertainment of setting off colored smoke screens for the crew to dance and jump around in
This aspect of the job is now handled almost entirely by leeches, and for good reason! As a
Leech you have access to one of the most unique and wonderful tools of entertainment in the
entire galaxy, tentacles! Our crew customers absolutely love tentacle tickles, or as we have
adorably named them, tentickles. All you do is go around the counter, give them a little boop
with your head, maybe use your lil' fingers too, and give a lovely tentickle. These are the
primary services provided by Space Applebee's, however you should always remain adaptive as
a service provider, you do have your company commissioned meat suits that you can wear for
long periods of time in order to search out specialty items, such as Meth Soda, Cursed
Fruit Roll Ups, Smoke Orbs, or Bendy Shivs.
We know that you may have a tough time adjusting to your new work environment, however
we believe that you will soon realize how enjoyable and rewarding of a position this is.
Should you have any further concerns or needs regarding how to properly fulfill your role
as an employee, you should never feel bad about consulting this worker's manual.
That's all there is to say for now, best of luck and remember to always have fun!